Until Zach and I celebrated our first Christmas together, I used to loathe the holiday. That's not to say I didn't look forward to Christmas: I love the lights and decorated trees, music and treats, Santa and the Nativity, peace on earth and goodwill toward men. But when the day arrived, I was left feeling glum and sad and lonely. I would be dying to get outside...but everything would be closed. Except for Walgreen's. I remember buying a two-liter of Coca-Cola there one Christmas Day Eve. The place was packed.
This is not to say I never had a happy, blessed holiday before a few years ago. I have had many a season of joy with family and friends in the twenty-five Christmases I have celebrated. But Christmas Day always came as a disappointment. I suppose I felt that way because there was too much pressure leading up to the day. I know that several brides suffer a period of depression following their weddings, so I suppose the Christmas Blues is somehow akin to that effect. When you start hearing "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" and seeing It's A Wonderful Life weeks (or months) before, you start to feel overwhelmed. (By the way, we're actually watching that film now. It's so sweet. ;) Just like Clark Griswold, I wanted a fun, old-fashioned, family Christmas (as pictured on a vintage postcard because I have a thing for vintage decorations). Then everything would seem to go wrong.
In reality, my Christmases were normal--full of ups and downs. One year we were iced in, and another I reveled in the snow. Four years ago I got locked in the bathroom at my aunt's house and cried while her neighbor busted the lock. In high school, I spent the day with Stephanie's family, and I climbed Pinnacle Mountain in a skirt and wedges as far as I could go, which wasn't very far because I am not athletic and somewhat afraid of heights. When I was in elementary school, I received a baby doll from Santa I still have at my mama's house.
But I would have a picture in my mind of how things were supposed to go, and it never quite met my expectations. So I wrote off Christmas.
Over the past few years, I've learned to let a lot of things go, though it is a constant struggle for me. I'm a idealistic perfectionist--or a perfectionist idealist--who always plans too much and never delegates tasks and has control issues. (I'm a joy to live with. Seriously.) For example, we are supposed to have a special meal, drink cocoa while watching all of the cartoon specials, exchange presents, build our Lego Winter Bakery, make this year's ornament, and attend a service on Christmas Eve. After we drop off some more goodies all over NWA. And we. will. do. it. I promise. Last year I remember having a minor meltdown over "Our First Christmas" ornament, but, looking at it this minute, I can say it turned out beautifully. Before Thanksgiving, I made a Christmas collage of photos from our past two Christmases together that showcases the fun and destruction we had decorating our tree, making a gingerbread house after the holidays were over, and baking bad cookies. Even though things were not perfect, I have picture-perfect memories (and some damn good photos, too).
This year, I had a meltdown over our sugar cookies. Again. For the second year in a row. I don't know if it's because the cookie cutters' nooks and crannies are just that, nooks and crannies, or that we always seem to use the wrong kind of sugar cookie...but we can never seem to get our A Christmas Story cookie cutters to work properly.
But this time, after squealing about the dough tearing and sticking to my fingers, I took a breath, laughed..and shook my flour-and-cookie-coated hands at Zach.
For your viewing pleasure:
This is not to say I never had a happy, blessed holiday before a few years ago. I have had many a season of joy with family and friends in the twenty-five Christmases I have celebrated. But Christmas Day always came as a disappointment. I suppose I felt that way because there was too much pressure leading up to the day. I know that several brides suffer a period of depression following their weddings, so I suppose the Christmas Blues is somehow akin to that effect. When you start hearing "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" and seeing It's A Wonderful Life weeks (or months) before, you start to feel overwhelmed. (By the way, we're actually watching that film now. It's so sweet. ;) Just like Clark Griswold, I wanted a fun, old-fashioned, family Christmas (as pictured on a vintage postcard because I have a thing for vintage decorations). Then everything would seem to go wrong.
In reality, my Christmases were normal--full of ups and downs. One year we were iced in, and another I reveled in the snow. Four years ago I got locked in the bathroom at my aunt's house and cried while her neighbor busted the lock. In high school, I spent the day with Stephanie's family, and I climbed Pinnacle Mountain in a skirt and wedges as far as I could go, which wasn't very far because I am not athletic and somewhat afraid of heights. When I was in elementary school, I received a baby doll from Santa I still have at my mama's house.
But I would have a picture in my mind of how things were supposed to go, and it never quite met my expectations. So I wrote off Christmas.
Over the past few years, I've learned to let a lot of things go, though it is a constant struggle for me. I'm a idealistic perfectionist--or a perfectionist idealist--who always plans too much and never delegates tasks and has control issues. (I'm a joy to live with. Seriously.) For example, we are supposed to have a special meal, drink cocoa while watching all of the cartoon specials, exchange presents, build our Lego Winter Bakery, make this year's ornament, and attend a service on Christmas Eve. After we drop off some more goodies all over NWA. And we. will. do. it. I promise. Last year I remember having a minor meltdown over "Our First Christmas" ornament, but, looking at it this minute, I can say it turned out beautifully. Before Thanksgiving, I made a Christmas collage of photos from our past two Christmases together that showcases the fun and destruction we had decorating our tree, making a gingerbread house after the holidays were over, and baking bad cookies. Even though things were not perfect, I have picture-perfect memories (and some damn good photos, too).
This year, I had a meltdown over our sugar cookies. Again. For the second year in a row. I don't know if it's because the cookie cutters' nooks and crannies are just that, nooks and crannies, or that we always seem to use the wrong kind of sugar cookie...but we can never seem to get our A Christmas Story cookie cutters to work properly.
But this time, after squealing about the dough tearing and sticking to my fingers, I took a breath, laughed..and shook my flour-and-cookie-coated hands at Zach.
For your viewing pleasure:






I really need to get some red and green gel food coloring. The usual bottles in the baking aisle creates these pastel shades of Christmas, which was part of my childhood baking. But I have become a more advanced decorator. Part of my problem lied in the fact I used most of the red food coloring in my dark velvet bites. When I ran out while dying the buttercream frosting, I tried to add neon purple and neon blue to darken it, but those colors only turned the icing a violet shade. So I had to add neon pink to make it into a "dusty rose." I think it turned out pretty after all. ;)






Tonight I burned out the motor in the mixer making cookies, and we started another holiday movie we didn't finish, and Zach is only starting to wrap his presents. There is a chance for frozen precipitation tomorrow, which means we may not be able to get out after all. What-e-ver will we do?! ;)
What kind of Christmas goodies do you and your family make each year?
Did you try anything new in 2010?
Did you try anything new in 2010?
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