Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts

Happy New Year!

I'm posting from Chicago today! We are packing up to head to O'Hare because we go back to work tomorrow. *boo* I've been out of pocket since the snow break we had at the beginning of December: once we got back from the snow days, we were busy with finals, grading, Silver Dollar City, wrapping up work, finishing things up for Christmas, Zach's Grandpa's funeral, Christmas festivities, and traveling to Chicago for the New Year. Gosh, December goes by too fast...

Here's to 2014!  I've got some nice goals lined up regarding my health, serving others, showing gratitude to God, reading, writing, and ironing. Yes, I've resolved to iron our clothes more! (They look so much nicer. :)

How are you celebrating the New Year? Any resolutions?

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Sensory Overload: 5 on Friday

It's Friday, y'all!  My first Friday back at work (we've been on an efficiency schedule this week) consisted of going in late after taking Hobie cat to the vet and leaving early to take the car to get serviced.  In between that, I caught the tail end of orientation, went to get lunch at Arby's with Zach, and played our cake-smashing video from our reception.  So a very productive day, no?  No.  ;)

I decided to take part in the this 5 on Friday business that has hit the blogging world by storm.  But I'm doing a twist by looking at my five senses...


1)  WHAT I'M FEELING:  sore but stronger!  Zach and I survived our first week of yoga.  Oh, man, was I sore on Tuesday after our Monday class!  I got a bit better on Wednesday and could get my boat to float.  *lol*  (This a position in which you sit on your bottom, raise up your legs, hold them, and lean back a bit.  I couldn't do it in the first class.)  It was quite relaxing, except for being embarrassed by my gross toes (time to change my varnish!) and hitting my head on the concrete when we went down on our backs the first day...


2)  WHAT I'M TASTING:  homemade macarons!  The wife of one of our friends at work made strawberry-lemon macarons, and they were sooo good!  Her husband said--and I quote--"They are very hard to make."  I could just nod because I have always wanted to make some of these yet haven't because they are so difficult.  Zach actually LOVED these, and he has never liked macarons.

3)  WHAT I'M SMELLING:  I don't really want to go into that.  Let's just say it involves our cats and the floors (and part of the reason why I had to go to the vet this morning).  : /

4)  WHAT I'M HEARING:  About two weeks ago, I downloaded a Bible-study app called "Through the Word" (which will look like "Thru the Word" on the app logo itself).  It has three parts each day:  a sermon/talk on the chapter of the day, the chapter itself, and a journal.  The weekdays are devoted to a certain book, and then Saturdays look at a Proverbs chapter and Sundays a Psalm.  While there are some things that irk me that the preachers/pastors say, and I'm not really into Paul's letters anymore (I feel like more people follow him than Jesus, but that's a discussion for another day), I've learned so much and am feeling blessed by this.  I needed this guide of bookended devotion in which I get to hear an expert's take on the chapter and then give my own, and I like diving so deeply chapter by chapter.



5)  WHAT I'M SEEING:  my sweet sister-friend Sherrie on her last day at work (she was in Student Activities, too, which Zach was over this past spring); my stomach (It's a food-baby!); and this awesome article on what the goal of marriage is and how submission fits with it from To Love, Honor, and Vacuum (It's not what you think:  "Oneness is the goal of marriage; submission is a tool to get there. It is not the end, in and of itself.")

Thanks for reading and be sure to say hello if you are stopping in from the 5 on Friday Link-Up!

THE GOOD LIFE BLOG   

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Be Grateful #4

It's been cray-cray around these parts.  I actually hate using that phrase (though I appreciate the ingenuity of whomever invented it).  But "cray-cray" seems appropriate for bloggy land.  *haha*
Here is a picture my husband took a few weeks ago when we got enough flurries to cover the ground.  I didn't take many photos this weekend when we went home because the Pharrs were either sick or sore, and we just had the LEGO club going on.  It flurried today like it did in this pic, but nothing stuck because yesterday it was around 70!  A horrible front came through, gave me a sinus headache from heck, and then left behind the snow.  It's silly, but I keep praying we will get one good snow day this year!

Anyhoot, I must have scarred and scared all of you folks last week talking about my lady business, but I'm just keeping it real.  (You know you've been in some awkward doctor situations, too...  If you haven't, I ENVY you and your ability to keep your modesty in tact.  Seriously.  :)

Remember when I said I was interviewing for a job last week????

Wellllll, one of my supervisors (in one of the departments I teach who also teaches in the other department in which I teach) was on the committee, and one of my colleagues from that second department was on the committee, and then the director of this department for which I was interviewing sat in on my interview and praised my experience (for having collaborated with faculty, designed curriculum, worked under a grant, etc.)....

...if you're confused, I TOTALLY understand.  Now maybe you can understand why I am eager to have one job.  ONE job.  O-N-E.  Let me explain.  I currently work part-time in three departments just at this campus.   (I also teach for another school).  Two of those are teaching positions, and there is a lot of overlap between those two departments (English and Academic Skills).  Then in my third position, I work under a grant that works with faculty, staff, and students.  And I also collaborate with many others on the mentorship program I coordinate under the grant, including the one where the position for which I was interviewing is housed...

There was only one person on my committee and in the interview that I did not know, and we got to chat before my interview started because I showed up to the conference room BEFORE anyone had made it.  Then I panicked because I thought I was at the wrong place because the interview was NOT on the schedule.  Thankfully, my colleague walked by and asked about a conference room behind a faculty lounge.  And he's all like, "I'm on your committee. I'll show you THE WAY."  Sigh of relief.  Then more panic.  How do you act when you know everyone (or almost everyone) on the committee?!

Coming out of that interview, I felt fairly confident in my ability and in my colleagues knowledge of me as an employee.  I told my friend that if I didn't get it, I must have STUNK to high heaven in the interview!

Welllllll, I GOT IT!  They emailed me on Monday about being a finalist and requested I complete a background check.  Then this morning I got the call about the offer.

However, because apparently I'm the most difficult person in the world right now, I had to run around like a chicken with its head cut off today to determine what my schedule will look like.  See, Zach and I have been planning this EPIC vacation for years (basically, since we got married).  And we have booked lodgings and bought plane tickets and ordered an outlet adaptor for our appliances.  There's no going back on that bad boy known as the UK.

So I'll be taking a month-long vacation after I've only been in the position for a few months.  Typically, that wouldn't be such a big deal because I let them know up front.  However, since I am teaching three classes (with two taking place during normal business hours), that's just not gonna fly.  So I'm going to have to kiss one of my composition classes--if not both--good-bye.  Cue sad face.

I HATE leaving my students and the English department in the lurch.  (My Intermediate class is safe because it is housed in a different department and takes place after business hours.)  I would have preferred to cut Intermediate loose because composition is so much more fun!  I had to do this (leave my kids behind) the semester I got sick; I know, I know, neither of these situations are exactly in my control, but I'm still bummed.  (Because this position closed before we came back from break, I was hoping their decision would have been made BEFORE the semester started.  As you can see, that didn't pan out.)  I should know in the next few days what my schedule is going to look like.  I'm hoping I'll be able to ride out next week, so we can at least finish Unit 1, and the next instructor can step in after that.

So lots of feels over here today!  I'm happy and excited and nervous and anxious and sad (not to just leave my students but also my current grant supervisor, the folks in the Advising Center, and my giant office that will be traded in for a cubicle.  And I won't be seeing my husby as much since I'll be in a different building.)

1)  I'm thankful for this new opportunity and for the opportunities I've had the past two years working at this campus.  I've got my first big girl job since I graduated!  I'm excited to see what the future will hold.  :)  I'm also thankful that my husband has been appointed interim Director of Student Life in addition to his role as an advisor and as a TV coordinator.

2)  I'm thankful for how supportive my husband, our families, and our friends and coworkers have been as we embark on these new journeys.

3)  I'm thankful for a free weekend that can be used to prepare for this transition.  I'm going to be getting ahead on cleaning, making cleaning products, and freezing some quick meals, so I'm blessed, not stressed.

4)  I'm thankful I'll have another week now before I get to enjoy that wonderfully tasty Bowel Prep or Go Lightly.  And that's a misnomer, if I've ever heard one.  (I had to move back my colonoscopy to do orientation.)  But we are still going out to dinner to Mimi's Cafe this weekend--this time to celebrate my new job!  

5)  I'm thankful my cousin has dilated to NINE CENTIMETERS!  She went in last night to be induced, and Keegan is almost here.  When I told my husband how far along she is and how that means she is very closed, he said, "That's just not right."  (Yep.  Ten centimeters is just not enough.) Next time you see me, I'll likely be bragging about my new little cousin.  :)

Be Grateful #3

Zach and I went ice skating with our friend Amy.  I didn't exactly skate.  I skate-walked about 15 feet, getting slightly comfortable with it until I noticed that the ice was no longer meeting the side of the rink.  So I froze and began a death grip on the railing until we decided we were done.  I was too afraid to turn around and skate-walk back and out of the rink, so I slowly side-stepped that 15 feet to the exit.  Of course, I HAD to turn around--my back was against the wall--to get out, but I was FROZEN.  I was so afraid I was going to fall if I let go.  So Zach had to get back on the ice, grip my right side firmly while I continued to hold onto the railing with my left, and spin me across the last five inches of ice and out the rink.  I'm RI-DIC-U-LOUS, y'all.

Tonight, I'm in a mood.  I almost didn't do this, but I figured it would probably be the best thing to rectify this mood.  Cultivating an attitude of gratefulness does take work, and I'm hoping my moodiness does not negate my thankfulness.

1)  I am thankful for the opportunities that have been presented to my husband and me at work last week.  Zach has been given the opportunity to test run a position in addition to his current advising and video production duties.  While it will mean some extra work and night events, he is being compensated with a little more money and time accommodations.  This is a position that was recently vacated, and they can't open until the new fiscal year; he has expressed interest in it, and several folks are in his corner and encouraging him to apply when it opens, so this will let him see if it would be a good move.  And I have an interview for a full-time position on Friday morning!  I am excited and nervous and anxious.  This would be something to make me feel like I really belong (it's hard working three part-time jobs at one place) as well as allowing me to continue my work with the mentor program, some advising, and collaboration with faculty.  I'm just not sure how this will jive with my three classes this semester as I can't exactly drop them now that they have started.  And there is that whole "I-need-a-month-off-in-June-to-travel-the-UK" thing.  Please send prayers and good thoughts at 11 on Friday that I will be led where I am supposed to be.

2)  I am thankful we scored some awesome deals this weekend:  $60 in credit on Living Social!  Free lotion at Bath and Body Works!  Old Navy clearance steals!  We also got in a little date--a walk through our park across the boulevard and dinner at Olive Garden.  (I love their salad and breadsticks!)

3)  I am thankful we got Monday off in memory and recognition of Martin Luther King, Jr.  Next year, I'm going to try to make it a day of service.  (I forgot this year.  I guess I can technically serve my husband, but it's not quite the same thing, is it?  I know my first ministry is at home, but I feel I should get out in my community.)

4)  I am thankful I discovered two fantastic documentary series this weekend:  The Business of Being Born and the Up Series.  The first one looks at alternative birthing options, and the second has been following 14 British children since the age of 7 (in 1963/1964) with an update on their lives every seven years.  I've spent my free moments watching the Up Series; I'm not quite current (56 Up) as it hasn't been released on Netflix yet.  (I think it was just released stateside.)  It has been a fulfilling, heartbreaking, eye-opening, shocking, joyful experience watching these 14 individuals grow up before my eyes.

5)  Speaking of births, I am thankful we got to welcome another healthy baby into our family this past Saturday.  Zach's cousin Alexis went into labor, and she and her husband were surprised with baby boy Will!  (She had a c-section scheduled for the 31st.)  He is named after Alexis' grandfathers, including the one she shares with Zach, so that is pretty cool.  Their first son, Walker, is named after her husband's grandfathers.  I'm also excited to have learned that one of my best friends from college is having a little girl.  Katie will welcome Isabella (Ella) Kate sometime in late May or early June!  And baby Keegan (my cousin's baby) should be here anytime now.

6)  I am thankful for lazy Caturdays.

7)  I am thankful for having had a fairly good--if anything, FUNNY--experience at an OB/GYN clinic on Monday.  (No, I'm not preggers.  But I feel like I should be expecting because when I was on Facebook today, there were FIVE baby-related posts from my friends BACK-TO-BACK.  Everyone is like, "Look at what I made!  See my baby smile/laugh/walk/eat/go to school/cure cancer!"  And I'm over here going, "My cat is sitting on a tower TALLER than meeeee."  We're just not ready to be responsible for the future cure-er of cancer.  Or of Crohn's Disease.  ;)  See, I can't take the typical oral birth control because of my risk of blood clots, so I had to start seeing a gynecologist as opposed to my general practitioner for my lady business.  That made me a little nervous.  Oh, and he's a male doctor.  Apparently, that weirds some ladies out, which I can kinda understand, but I'm probably about as uncomfortable with a man as with a woman, so...whatevs.  I think?)

Can we just acknowledge how awkward it is for someone to be in your business like that?  I hope I'm not being too personal, but GOODNESS.  And I have to mention that I forgot to shave my legs and repaint my toenails.  I don't know what I was thinking!

And Zach came along to the appointment because we were out running errands together.  He was going to stay in the waiting room since I was getting a quick exam, but as I watched couple after couple go through the doors, I realized the other ladies in the waiting room would think he was the BIGGEST jerk in the world (or maybe my brother?) if he didn't go back with me since most were there for pregnancy-related appointments.  And that was when I realized I hadn't shaved my legs, so he HAD to come back with me because I was so embarrassed and didn't want a manly-man doctor to think I am undesirable due to my hairy legs because, HELLO, here is my husband to talk to you about my lady business, Mister Dr. sir.

(I am the girl who, when she sprained her ankle, scooted on her butt to the bathroom, hurled herself into the tub, and shaved her legs BEFORE going to see campus health clinic about the bum ankle.  I'm not one of those chicks who views leg hair as extra warmth in the winter.  My nurse there tried to make me feel better about my hair legs by saying that after I apologized for them.  YES.  I APOLOGIZED FOR MY HAIRY LEGS.  It's not like they even touch 'em, but I felt bad they had to look at that five days' stubble.  I tried to console myself by thinking that nine-months-pregnant woman probably can't shave their legs anyway because of the baby being all up in their business.  My rib cage already gets in my way.  I can't imagine what they deal with.)

It was probably good that Zach came along since he helps me remember everything I need to ask my gastroenterologist, and the GI doc has to clear me to take even the lowest dose or progesterone-only BC.  Zach was also there to help me make fun of my elementary-school-photo-backdrop-looking drape I had to wear during the exam.  And when we were at lunch after the visit, I asked him what he thought of my new doctor (since this man very well could deliver our child someday FAAAAAAAAR in the future), he said that my doc was the best "hoo-hoo" doctor he had ever visited.  Which is true as he has never visited one previously.  (I guess I haven't either...)  I'm glad we can act like eleven-year-olds about serious junk like my lady business.

After telling that story--which you may not find funny at all but gross or disrespect or irreverent--I am smiling and feeling better.  Posting this gratitude journal is such a good thing.  :)

(FYI, the caption to my photo was added after I got over my mood.  That was also another funny story I will have to remember.  I am so SILLY.)

"The first wealth is health." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

Since this was the week that the Supreme Court upheld the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, I have had several things on my heart.  This may be controversial, and you may feel offended, but I have to share what I know to be true.  I've prayed about sharing this, and I feel like I need to do this.  I hope you will read it in its entirety because I am sharing how PPACA has personally affected me as well as clearing up some of the falsehoods surrounding it.

If you have been following my blog or know me in real life (most of my followers do), you know that I have been very sick recently.  My surgery and hospital stay last November and December totaled over $220,000.  Then I had a home health nurse for a few weeks, follow-up appointments, prescriptions. lab works, colostomy supplies, and expensive treatments that I will receive every other month for possibly the rest of my life ($3,000 just for the medicine not including its administration, clinic fees, etc.).  In April, I had my colostomy reversed.  I was only in the hospital for a week, but it cost over $50,000.  I am 27 years old.  My husband and I have only had insurance for a little over a year.  Since we have very good insurance, we only had to pay a small percentage.

I am proud of our country for standing up for people like me.
I am not saying this act is perfect, but it is a step in the right direction.  I have mixed feelings on the fact that it is mandatory, but, after a ton of research and looking at sections from the bill itself, I do believe it will make healthcare more affordable for everyone.  And I don't mind paying a little bit more so someone else who could not afford health coverage on his or her own can afford it.  And I can't imagine the rest of the country could be so cruel not to want to pay a little more as well.  Why?  Because I have a chronic, incurable disease and I have been without insurance.

I grew up in a poor household.  There were less than a handful of times where we almost went without any food, but it was always living from paycheck-to-paycheck, usually several paychecks behind.  This was not on lack of effort; my mother, who was divorced, sometimes worked up to three jobs to support herself and me, not to mention the fact that my great aunt lived with us and contributed to the household.  My father sometimes provided child support, but it was only $100 a month; he had Crohn's Disease and lived off disability coverage (he was also an alcoholic).  My mother wasn't always the best at managing money, but you could never call her lazy.  Thankfully, for most of my childhood, I received free healthcare from the state because our income was so low.  (We did have to pay co-payments from time to time, and, YES, sometimes that occasional $20 made a huge dent in our finances.)

I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease when I was 18 after having a year or so of problems from it.  When I was diagnosed, I was hospitalized for three weeks and three days while we worked around the clock to get me into remission, or at least, to stop my flare-up from destroying my body.  Do you know how much an average day and night in the hospital costs?  I've heard that it is usually around $8,000 to $10,000.  FOR ONE NIGHT.  I was on TPN, or total parenteral nutrition, which is the most expensive meal I will ever had in my life.  (I was also on it in December.)  A quick search throws out the number $250 a day;  I don't know if that is per bag or what, but that is expensive.  Estimating the cost of my hospital stay then probably totaled around $175,000.  Fortunately, my insurance covered me until I was 19, at which point I was in remission and could rely on the Student Health Services at my university.

Since being diagnosed with Crohn's, I should have been having colonoscopies at least every other year.  I didn't.  I should have been seeing a gastroenterologist every six months to check up on my condition.  I didn't.  When I had a few minor flare-ups, I visited the doctor on campus, got a prescription for a short round of steroids and antibiotics (Flagyl) and go on my merry way.  I couldn't afford the maintenance for my disease then.

I began having serious problems again in November 2010, but I couldn't get into see anyone until January when our insurance took effect.  I was referred to the gastroenterologist I have now, had a colonoscopy (my colon mostly looked good), and was placed on medication.  It didn't work.  We tried medication after medication, and none of them worked.  I kept getting worse and worse.  By November, I was in the throes of a serious flare-up.  I was hospitalized, and while I was in the hospital, perforations developed in my colon, and I had to have it removed in emergency surgery.  I almost died.  I'm not saying that the reason why I got so sick is because I didn't have insurance for a good six years, but I am sure it couldn't have hurt.  It would have been nice not to worry about my disease flaring up during that time period.

1)  The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act has removed lifetime caps.  Previously, our insurance had a cap of 1 million dollars; at 27, I would be over a fourth of the way there.

2)  Let's say for a minute I didn't have insurance.  I would be denied coverage because of my pre-existing condition.  BUT, because of the PPACA, insurance companies will no longer be able to deny coverage to those with pre-existing conditions.

3)  If my mother could have afforded insurance while I was in college, I could have stayed on her insurance until I was 26, whether I was in college, married, or whatnot.  Three months after my husband and I got married, he had to have surgery; unfortunately, since he had gotten married, he could no longer be on his parents' insurance.  They paid for insurance during this time and covered his surgery; I want to say it was around $5,000, which didn't break their bank, but I know that would have been something my mother never could have done for me.  This law has already ensured that my sister-in-law, who has had serious medical issues in life, can stay on her parents' insurance although she is married.  (My in-laws--and several of my relatives--do not support the PPACA.)

These are just a few of the changes that have personally affected me.  People are complaining that they won't be able to afford insurance.  I understand that; I have been there.  But the PPACA is expanding who Medicare will cover as well as subsidizing coverage for those who make too much to get Medicare but cannot afford to purchase their own insurance.  Many employers that previously did not offer insurance will have to offer it.  People say that this will be an unjust burden on businesses, and I understand that, but if you are an employer, I think you have certain responsibilities to your employees. For example, my mother's work offered insurance, but she (and the majority of the employees) made minimum wage and could not afford the expensive premiums to cover themselves and their families.  (My mother has worked as a cashier her whole life.)  You won't see an increase in your taxes unless you make over $200,000 a year as a single individual.  Depending on your income and how many people are in your family will determine how much you have to pay.

I understand that the reason why many people don't have insurance is the fact they can't afford it.  If they could afford it, they would already have it.  I was there.  Often, my mother took me to the ER when I got sick because they would write it off.  That is ripping off the system.  The PPACA is trying to get rid of such behaviors, thus saving money.  By removing pre-existing conditions and offering to subsidize insurance, they are insuring that it cannot be denied to anyone.  Rather than having those who do have insurance pick up the tab for those that don't, they are asking everyone to take responsibility of their own healthcare to the extent that they can.  I think most people would want this.  I know I did when I was uninsured and needed treatment.

And, no, there will be no death panels.  From the research I have done, this term seems to have originated with Sarah Palin.  I respect many Republicans, including many against this law, but she is not one.  I could get into why, but that is another post for another day.

Once again, it is not a perfect plan, but I think it is going to help many people.  I know people are also saying it is going to break this country.  Maybe that will happen; maybe it won't.  I could get into how much money is wasted in other areas and how it should be redirected to such areas as education and healthcare.  The greatest asset of this country is its people.  But we don't value our people the way other countries do.  I think we are finally taking the steps to show that we do care about our people and the conditions in which they live.

For more information breaking down the PPACA, visit these sites:

http://housedocs.house.gov/energycommerce/ppacacon.pdf  (for the PPACA itself)
http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/vb8vs/eli5_what_exactly_is_obamacare_and_what_did_it/c530lfx (a more complicated breakdown)
http://lifehacker.com/5922382/how-will-the-new-health-care-law-affect-me (a more simplified breakdown)

Finally, I have to say that God wants us well and does not endorse a political party.  Jesus does not go around making people sick; HE HEALS THEM.  He is healing me day after day.  And He wants us to help minister to others.  I've prayed about this law and was given such a sense of peace last night regarding it.  I really hope I haven't stirred the pot, so to speak.  I try to avoid political arguments, but this is one I cannot ignore with so many lies being thrown around as well as my own family not acknowledging how it has helped me, my husband, and themselves.  I have tried to be as accurate as possible, and I apologize for any mistakes in the facts.  I am definitely open to discussion.

Kudos to you if you made it to the end!

Menu Monday: POTATO-LEEK SOUP

I have decided to try a new vegetable every week in an effort to get healthier (and hopefully break my dependence on Cheez-It's). Veggies, you say? Aren't you, a person recovering from Crohn's Disease and colon surgery (initially, I typed "sugary," which is true, too *lol*), supposed to stay away from veggies? Well, to hell with that. Vegetables are good for us; they are not bad for us. Disease is bad for us, and you know why? Because Satan is the author of disease. God promised me the food of every seed-bearing plant and every tree that has fruit with seed in it (Genesis 1:29), so, by golly, I'm going to have them as food because He keeps his promises. I am, however, starting off with cooked veggies...though I did try a bite of raw carrot with this recipe. I'm a rebel. (It didn't cause me any issues. I also had pineapple on my pizza. And, yes, I had pizza. ;)

I tried doing this little project last fall...or summer, maybe? But obviously it did not last. I remember I tried beets...and some other things. I honestly only remember the beets...and now lima beans because I went to my blog to see. I included fruits, too. Maybe I should include fruits again because I know there are some I haven't tried. I think in the summer I had blueberries as a "new" fruit, not because I had never had them but because I never liked them previously unless they were in muffins. (I made Ben and Jerry's blueberry ice cream recipe, so I guess that doesn't count as trying to be healthy. *haha* BUT the fresh blueberries were so tasty in it. I can't wait for the Farmer's Market this year!)

Anyway, I've technically had this veggie before, but I LOVED it and haven't had it in almost a year.

What is this you ask?

Since I'm still "sick" and it's winter, I thought, POTATO-LEEK SOUP would be perfect to make! After all, the leeks are cooked and potatoes (and carrots) are easy on the stomach. The picture above was taken at ICASI in Cleveland last March when we visited Holly (and the culinary school at which she works). Every Saturday the students prepare several courses and serve them; it was AMAZING, and this soup was one of my favorites. Now it was a creamier POTATO-LEEK SOUP than the one I'm sharing, but the flavors were still amazing (and you didn't have to worry about blending it together). This recipe also calls for quite a bit of onion, but I haven't noticed it giving me any issues either (as long as it is cooked...and I love onion! I can't give it up.).

POTATO-LEEK SOUP

-Wash and dice two leeks (the white part only...though I cut it below the green leaves and diced away so some light green snuck in. I wish I had taken a picture of the leeks. Zach couldn't find them at the store, but, when we went back, I found them right away--and I've never seen one! ;).
-Peel and dice a medium onion. (Do you wash your onions? I just realized I never do. I think I read somewhere that water is bad for them?)
-Melt four tablespoons of butter in a large soup pot or Dutch oven, add leeks and onion, and sauté until tender for 5 to 7 minutes.

-Add three and 1/4 cups of chicken stock or broth to the pot. Because we're poor (or cheap), we use a chicken base from Sam's and mix up some water with it. I would, however, like to start making my own stocks because they offer some great health benefits. (That's why we eat chicken soup when we are sick!)
-Peel, wash, and dice four carrots and add them to the pot..

-Peel, wash, and dice three large potatoes (or, in my case, five small to medium potatoes) and add them to the pot.

-Add 1/2 teaspoon of black pepper, 1/4 teaspoon of thyme, and 1 bay leaf to the pot.

-You may need to add a bit more stock or add some water to cover all the veggies. Heat to boiling, then cover and simmer for 30 to 35 minutes. Be sure to remove the bay leaf before serving!

Voila! You have easily made POTATO-LEEK SOUP! I prefer to eat my soup with hot bread most of the time, but, as I was trying to get dinner to my semicolon, I just had a few saltines, my go-to soup cracker. This was just delicious, and the seasonings were just perfect in it. Thyme has become one of my favorites to use, and I am so happy we finally got some bay leaves because I have been using them a lot lately. I think adding some kind of protein (probably chicken since chicken stock is used) would take this soup over the top.

I can't wait to share my veggie for next week. I hope I like it because I never have before...!

I feel like a science project...

So, this is probably not going to be the most optimistic post, but forgive me. To err is human. Then again, it may turn out to be more hopeful than I think as I am just starting to writing...

Yesterday, my home health nurse Tina came to check up on me. Things were good, the big news being that my heart rate was finally below 90 (!). She said she was pleased with how I was doing, and barring no complications between now and then, she is going to discharge me after next week's visit.

Before she left, we were discussing how I was handling things, including my colostomy, and she asked if I had had any breakdowns. I have, including one in the hospital the night before I was discharged; I actually had to take some Xanax to calm down and go to sleep. (It was the best sleep I had had in a long time.) A lot of that meltdown was actually from having not had any sleep the night before, but it did have to do with my emotional state as well. Then, I was mostly upset over the fact that I could have died rather than dealing with the colostomy. At that point, I still felt disconnected from it. I've had some emotional breakdowns here and there, but mostly I have been trying to be strong and positive and take-charge. Then again, I still don't think I have fully processed everything that has happened to me.

Tina said she thought I was also doing so well because my colostomy is only temporary. Then she told me the story of one of her patients who discovered she has advanced colon-rectal cancer and had to have emergency surgery to get an ostomy...all the while she was in her 40s, had just moved to be near her fiancé, quit her job to be a stay-at-home wife, and was planning her wedding. (I do believe it was her first wedding, too.) In her case, her ostomy was permanent, and she struggled to deal with this new "normal."

I admitted that one of my fears is that someday I will have to have a colostomy again...and that it will be permanent then. Now, I know having an ostomy is not the worst thing in the world and that they save lives (including mine) and that plenty of people have full, happy, active lives with ostomies. In many cases, they give people back their lives. But they are...gross. And awkward. And weird. I feel like a science project.

I don't feel pretty.
I know that is silly and shallow.
But I think it is important for women to feel beautiful, and these days I don't.
And it's not just the colostomy--so much has to do with my health and feeling trapped in and disconnected from my body in so many ways.
I know things could be so much worse. Much, much worse. But I still think my feelings are valid and understandable. And, no, I'm not doing this to fish for compliments. I'm usually fairly confident, but my self-esteem has taken a beating over the last few months, and I am just being honest.

When I was in the hospital and when I first came home, I couldn't even lift my legs onto the bed. I had to get someone to help me sit on the toilet and change my clothes and wash me off. I hadn't really noticed how skinny I was until I got home and stood in front of my full-length mirror. I've always had chicken legs, but now they are so much worse. My arms seemed to be the same width from wrist to shoulder--and I have very skinny wrists. (They often had a hard time drawing blood from me.) My chest reminded me of being in middle school again, and I think even my butt got smaller. I was skin and bones; I had lost, at most, more than thirty pounds. (The good news is that I've gained at least twelve back.) Many times when I was in the hospital, I didn't brush my teeth or wash my face because I just didn't have the energy to stand up and do it. I didn't wash my hair for weeks because I was too weak to take a shower...and I would have to have everything taped up anyway to get into water. My hair started coming out then. It's still coming out. I spent so long growing it out and keeping it trimmed every six to eight weeks (usually six), and now it's coming out. I didn't get to shave my legs for weeks, and though I don't shave every day, I do at least once a week. I kept apologizing to the nurses for my hairy legs and how chipped my toenail polish wash. My skin is dry in several places and flaking off; Tina says that is probably because I won't absorb as many nutrients or water as I did before. Because of the prednisone, I have a moonface, and my skin is breaking out, and I know it will take months to go back to normal because it did the last time this happened; Zach says he doesn't notice, and I believe him, but I do notice. Plus, my appetite has returned with a vengeance, and I'm afraid at some point, between all the eating and the Boost/Ensure-drinking, I will surpass my pre-sickness weight. (I know, I know, there is still a lot to gain before that, but I will be on the protein shakes for weeks.) I have this scar down the center of my abdomen that is still somewhat swollen and indented and red with healing, and I am sure I will always have it. My belly button is not the same belly button I had when I was born--BUT, at least, I still have one because a lot of people lose theirs. I've worried about being dehydrated and my heart rate and eating the right things so I don't upset my already fragile semicolon. (Thankfully, my tummy has only been grumpy twice--both times I tried a legume.) My clothes don't fit the same because of my weight loss and the ostomy, so even the clothes that typically would make me feel better don't. And then there is the ostomy and all the issues that come with pooping in a bag.

Because that's what I do right now: I poop in the bag. I guess it's not much different than a baby's pooping in a diaper (something I have told myself), but it isn't the most pleasant situation when you are used to going the normal way. (I am so thankful to God to have normal stool now and no pain or passing of blood, but it's still weird and I am glad I won't always have this.) I mean, part of my intestines is on the outside of my body (my stoma a.k.a. Mr. T. Brixby, Attorney-at-Law, the silly name we gave it because I read this is part of the coping process). And it passes when it wants to pass. See why I feel like a science project? At least it is not as noisy as it once was, but I do worry about that when I go back to work and am around other people; I don't want other people to know I'm passing gas or pooping right then. I also have to worry about emptying it and its leaking and people's noticing it under my clothes. I've only had one leak and that was my first night home, and it happened because I didn't get the clasp fully closed. It was horrible and embarrassing, and I ruined a pair of pants I've had since ninth grade. Thankfully, I've since learned how to empty it directly in to the toilet and to get the bag cleaned up more quickly and fully sealed. I won't even get into dealing with intimacy. I also have been walking a bit more hunched over because the appliance (that is, the wafer and bag that cover my stoma) makes me feel heavier at my abdomen, so my back has been having spasms since I usually stand up very straight. (The spasms are also likely from having been on bed rest in a hospital bed for so long.) The wound nurse at the hospital showed me how to change my appliance, which was a nerve-wracking experience in itself, and she ordered me a trial pack of supplies that arrived shortly after I got home. At first, I really liked them until I got to my third changing and noticed that I had a odor coming from the bag. So then I was concerned about being smelling and leaking, so I changed everything to be on the safe side. Then the fourth bag was smelly. Turns out, it was a defect with the lining/thickness of the bags and their interaction with something in my poo--nothing to do with a leak/hole though it was still somewhat stinky. (My mama and Zach said they didn't notice any odor, but, once again, I did.) Tina provided me some supplies until mine came in from Liberty Medical (which ended up not being in my network, so I had to cancel), but I realized that after she left that they didn't fit my stoma. Thankfully, I got in some samples from another company, so I switched brands since they worked much better. It also hasn't helped that I had to go through the ringer to get supplies because no one explained the process of ordering them, and now I am worrying that our insurance isn't going to cover everything I got because I requested a prescription for enough to last me until my reversal surgery rather than a month.

I just feel weird a lot of the time and not like myself.
I feel more like myself now that I can do things on my own and shower and wear normal clothes and cook and drive.
But I still feel like a science project.

And I am still not well.
And I worry that I won't stay well and will have to go through all of this again.
I'm afraid it will be worse next time if there is a next time.
I'm afraid I will still have a reaction to the Remicade or that it will stop working or that something will go wrong with my next surgery.
I'm afraid of my reconstruction surgery. (I didn't have time to think about this one. A thing I am really dreading? Having a tube down my throat again when I wake up. I don't even know if I will.)
I'm afraid all of these drugs on which I have been/will be will cause me worse trouble down the line.
I'm afraid I will have to have a permanent ostomy someday. Most people who have had one colon surgery end up having another. I guess I am afraid that I won't have as many options as I had just one year ago.

I know I have to keep holding onto the belief that God will heal me and heal me for good even though the world says Crohn's Disease is incurable. Nothing is impossible with God. He is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us. (Ephesians 3:20). What does this mean to me? I don't even have to ask or imagine what He will do though I have and others have on my behalf (THANK YOU!); it's all been decided; He has planned out my days and promised me hope and a future; I just have to surrender and trust and believe and let God go to work in me. He didn't save me a month and five days ago for funnies. If anything, my fears will stand in the way of my health and thus accomplishing my purposes in life. It's something I am still working on: to not worry or stress or fear. I need to find my confidence in Him. I just need to believe.

2-0-1-2: A New Creation


our first picture of the New Year at Christmas with Zach's family yesterday
I have moonface from the prednisone--I'm like Gwyneth Paltrow's character in Shallow Hal! ;)

It's a new year, a new beginning, a new creation. I have been debating whether I want to make New Year's Resolutions (which are usually abstract goals) or not. I've already made them in my head anyway, but if I write them out, I am afraid I will set myself up for failure. Then again, if I don't write them out, I won't be challenging myself to follow through on them. Hmmm...

If I were to write them out, at the top of the list would be to get healthy/fully recover. This would be an ongoing goal as I have been working on this for the past year since that terrible stomach bug during Thanksgiving 2010, and, more seriously, the past two months. I'm being a good little soldiering patient, taking my medicine and supplements like clockwork, eating as much as I can, drinking three protein shakes (Boost/Ensure) a day, walking as much as I can, and breathing into this little device to strengthen my lungs further. I even wear a facial mask when I go out to public places to avoid germs. The good news is that I am down to twenty milligrams of prednisone today, so I only have a month left on it! It's actually the only prescription drug I am currently on, but I believe that, in a few more weeks, Dr. Stagg will put me on Imuran, an immuno-suppresant drug. (Dr. Kwon wanted me to heal six to eight weeks first, I believe, because Imuran can slow healing. He also felt the same way about the prednisone initially, but Dr. Stagg put me back on that because you HAVE to taper off of it.) I was on this when I was first diagnosed with Crohn's and had no issues; it is supposed to help the Remicade along to get me and keep me in remission, which it did back in 2003. It's hard to say if the Remicade is working or not since I am still getting used to having a colostomy...and the rest of my colon is just chilling. I haven't had any issues--but I don't know if that is because of the Remicade or the colostomy. Speaking of Mr. T Brixby, Attorney-at-Law...that's the name Zach and I gave my stoma...I am getting more used to having a colostomy. I still haven't gotten any supplies though (except what one company shipped after I was released, a few samples I got by mail, and what my home nurse supplied); no one explained I had to order from a third party and that it takes forever to get them shipped. After ordering with Liberty Medical, getting them to fax my prescription for the second time because Dr. Stagg's office never received it, and getting it signed off, they let me know that they were not in my insurance's network. I finally found a supplier in the area, but I have to get a prescription from my doctor, so I am getting that tomorrow. Dr. Kwon said I may be able to get my colostomy reversed as soon as February or March depending on how well I am doing, so I am thankful for that! But I don't want to get back to the state in which I was before I got very sick--I want to be healthier. I got two books for Christmas, Body Heal Thyself and The Maker's Diet by Jordan S. Rubin, that I believe will guide me in this effort. Illness and weakness does not come from God; those are consequences of our broken world. God wants us to be healthy and whole, in His image as He created us. I have been eating very healthy since I have been home, and I want to continue that as well. I LOVE food, and I LOVE cooking--I am very passionate about both, and I am starting to return to them. As a result, I'm bringing back Menu Monday! Since I've been home, I've already tried a few new recipes. We've been eating more meat and poultry because I need as much protein as possible, so it has been fun to experiment with them. (I'm going to enjoy them while I can because I still don't want to eat too much meat.)

If I were to give a second resolution, it would be to grow in my faith and in my relationship with God. God saved my life a month and a day ago; He spared me from death. I have become a firm believer and living example of the power of prayer. I truly believe that if we had not asked for prayer and had not joined together and believed that God would hear our prayers and heal me, I could not be here today--and I definitely would not be healing as fast as I am. And all the glory is God's! People keep talking about how strong I am and how they admire me and such--and I was trying to be strong, but not for myself--for those around me. I just wanted the pain to end; I didn't care how. I just couldn't handle it and turned it over to God and let Jesus carry me through. It was definitely the best decision I ever made. I want to remember what peace and joy I felt knowing I didn't have to worry about my life; it has all been decided. I worry too much and stress too much--all that is bad for your body and mind and soul. I've gotten back into journaling and praying and reading Scripture. I feel a great need to pray for people who are in trouble, and I am thankful for social networks that allow me to see those needs in a new way. I want to be able to serve and love God and others freely now, and I think the best way I can do this is by encouraging people. It has been on my heart for a long time to start a card ministry, and I think I am finally going to do it. I LOVE sending cards; I am so upset I missed many of my friends' birthdays and anniversaries while I was sick. I keep all of my cards I get. I know what an encouragement they can be when you are sick or down or been disappointed. So this is another one of my big plans for 2012.

If I was to write down another resolution, it would be to write more--so the blog is back! I've missed it, and I've learned I don't care if anyone reads it because it is an outlet for me! It became stressful to keep up with it, but, as I won't be teaching this semester, I hope to have more time to do something that will help me heal and grow.

Finally, I just want to be happy and to enjoy life as much as possible. I learned that it can all be gone in a minute, and there is no reason to worry or stress over things because I am not in control! I want to spend more time with my husband and our cats and our family and our friends. I want to be a better wife, daughter, sister, and friend. I want to do all the things I/we have discussed--whether that is eating out at places we haven't been or traveling to places we would love to visit or trying new activities like ballroom dancing--rather than talking about them. We are already planning things and doing things, and I look forward to having more strength to do even more things.

I go in for my second Remicade treatment tomorrow at one, so I would appreciate any prayers and good thoughts sent our way. And to keep Parker Purifoy's family in your prayers. Thanks! I also have to list a praise: Easton Begoon is still in remission!


I hope you all had a blessed New Year's! I have a lot more to say, but that will be coming in the coming days and weeks. :)

Shine Challenge: Conquering my Colon One Vegetable At a Time

I love food.
I'm obsessed with it. :)
BUT I have to be.

In 2003, when I was an eightteen-year-old baby fresh out of high school, I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease, which is an autoimmue disorder in which your body attacks what you consume as it would with any kind of virus or bacteria, thus causing inflammation of your digestive tract. It was once described to me as having sunburn in your intestines. : /

I've been lucky; I haven't had a bad case, just a few flare-ups here and there over the years. This was more than a usual blessing because I didn't have insurance from the time I was 19 to 25, so I wouldn't have been able to afford treatment if it had been worse over the years. (Thank God for my campus's health center when I was sick!) Anyway, Crohn's disease is funny because it encourages moderation of or prohibits consumption of foods you would think of as "healthy:" raw fruits and vegetables, seeds, nuts, whole grains, legumes. (It also includes obvious things like fried food and sugary treats.)

Ironically, these were the types of things I was eating in spades when I started getting symptoms of Crohn's Disease; I thought eating "healthy" would make my body feel better and fight off whatever was making me sick. But these things are harder to digest, thus causing your body to fight them off that much more.

I was only in the hospital for three weeks and three days when I was diagnosed, but I had been sick for about a year before that. Still, I was able to recover much more quickly and ended up getting more fit in the hospital than I had been since I was in elementary school. I say "only...three weeks and three days" because I met an eight-year-old girl my first week in the hospital who had already had her colon removed (called a coloctemy) and was using an ostomy bag. When I saw what she had already gone through in her short life and had faced it with such bravery, I quit my belly-aching, counted my blessings, and got to work to getting better.

I was very careful about what I ate when I was released from the hospital. Not only was I still gaining back weight I had lost, but I was also on long-term steroids that did a number on me. I did my best to follow the food pyramid, to eat cooked vegetables and fruit, to avoid seeds and nuts and whole grains and fast food. The first time I had fast food after I got better was when we were moving houses. Boy, could I tell a BIG difference!!

As I was recovering, I grew much stronger in my faith and trusted that God was going to use my disease to bless me if I relied on Him. I don't believe that God causes disease or pain. Instead, I see it as being part of the world in which we live, and so we must strive to not give in to it, gathering strength from God to grow closer to Him during the process. I may be completely wrong; I am no theologian. I know we will suffer in this world, but I don't think God causes the suffering itself.

In my case, this is why I believe this to be true:
"Then God said, 'Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.' And it was so. The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good."
Genesis 1:11-12
This is what was promised to mankind after creation:
"Then God said, 'I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.'"
Genesis 1:29

When I came across these scriptures while I was recovering, I thought, "God has promised that I can eat the very things my body is attacking. Then this disease cannot be given to me from God. So, goodness, I am going to eat what He has promised me!" Of course, I chose to eat things like raw veggies and almonds again, but this time in careful moderation.

I have been lucky and blessed. I am fairly healthy, and, since I met my husband, I have been striving to become even healthier because we encourage one another to eat right. Fortunately for me, he has always loved vegetables and fruits; our shared vice is our love for sweets, but we have learned to eat those in moderation, too, even if we hoard them. ;) Zach was allergic to beef when he was a child and chicken as an adult for awhile, so we tend to eat mostly grains and vegetables for our meals. He is such a blessing to me in my cooking and eating. He is always grateful whenever I cook and is willing to try the new dishes I make...or the ones he dreams up. As he says, he is the visionary...and I carry out his visions such as the best black forest cake he envisioned that we...er, I made a few years ago. *haha*

Other than when I was a toddler, I had always been a picky, picky eater. I loved fresh fruit, but I was sooooo picky about vegetables. I would eat carrots and celery, but they had to be raw. I loved potatoes in every way possible, except scalloped. Corn was wonderful, too, but it's one of the hardest things to digest. Forget about green beans, broccoli, peas, cauliflower, etc. I liked okra and squash, but only if it was fried. (I am a Southern girl after all!)

After I started getting well, I became more adventuresome in eating and would try almost anything as long as my tummy was happy. This has led to a passion for cooking (and eating, too).

Like everything else, you get stuck in a rut sometimes, and I don't think I am nearly as bold in trying to vegetables as I once was eight years ago. Since last summer, I have been attempting to try new recipes that incorporate vegetables I think I don't like, ones I once liked but now I don't, or ones that aren't mainstream like bok choy. (Now, I see bok choy everywhere, but I've never had a dish with it--at least not to my knowledge. *lol*)

Rather than being overly ambitious, I decided to set one healthier lifestyle goal, one that I would be more likely to incorporate to my life because I am already working on it: I plan to eat one new-ish vegetable/legume (or fruit, in rare cases) each week.

Here are some I've already tried:

German red cabbage (and sauerkraut, too!)

Did you know parsnips taste like stronger carrots? They're carrots with some muscle. ;)

green cabbage (I'm also learning to like cole slaw again. I tried this Southern Fried cabbage recipe last fall, and Zach loved it. I actually made this cabbage dish with the last thing on my list and peas--which I used to refuse to touch--for dinner last night. GO ME!!!)

lima beans

pears (So what if I poached them?)

leeks, as in potato-leek soup (This stuff is hea-ven-ly. *contented sigh*)

blueberries (So what if I marinated them in sugar and lemon juice and put them in ice cream?! A fruit is a fruit is a fruit. I don't care for raw blueberries, but I do love them in ice cream. Sue me...or Ben & Jerry's. ;)

And this is what I made this week: ROASTED RED BEETS!
1/2 lb. beets, peeled and sliced into six wedges
3 tsp. olive oil
generous pinch of salt
rosemary sprigs

-Heat oven to 400 degrees. Pour oil and salt into a sealable plastic bag, add beets, and toss to coat.
-Line a baking pan with foil. Pour beets into pan. Place rosemary on top and seal foil tightly. (I made a packet by folding the long sides over one another and then rolling up the ends.0
-Bake for an hour or so until dinner. Serve piping hot!

[2 servings]

I was surprised by how tasty the beets were. I expected them to be very sweet because they smelled that way while cooking, but they were more savory. Zach said he had only ever had beets out of a can, and they were sweet; I told him I thought my mama loved pickled beets, which is probably why I always thought they were disgusting. I will definitely give this dish another try (maybe with a little less rosemary next time). I've also heard that beets are GREAT in cake...and will give them a nice rosy beet-pink color!

Good luck to everyone out there seeking to become healthier as we are ordained to be! Thank you, Ashley, for continuing to inspire us everyday!